Wednesday, June 20, 2007

Son of SZ Zen: Hua Hin Hoo-hah (Thailand Remix)

And so, with the snapping, slavering jaws of the Hong Kong tax hounds and his landlord behind him our fearless narrator finds himself in Hua Hin, Thailand, a locale popularly described by low budget travel journals and airline magazines as an "unspoiled beach resort" 2 or so hours (depending on transportation and road repair conditions) south of Bangkok.

He had last been in the "Land of Smiles" as a tender youth of 9-10 years of age and remembered a curious, friendly, idyllic existence that in retrospect probably depended more on the naive undeveloped Thai economy, three servants, and his father's privileged status at the time as Fulbright Scholar and lecturer at Bangkok's distinguished Thomasat (sp) University than any tourist bureau dogma.

What he finds in June 2007 is himself servant-free, ass down, right leg shredded at the knee and foot and pinned under a rented 120 cc Honda on a dirt road that he has foolishly tried to navigate in an attempt at personal transportation. That he has no more business on a motorbike than he does piloting an F-18 did not factor into his rash decision. Born to be Wild had been thrumming through his head as he twisted the plastic throttle grip and had died as he swerved and spun wildly to avoid hitting a meandering 1/4 ton calf in his path.

Looking up he saw the smirking face of 10 or 11-year-old Thai boy, a smoldering hand rolled cigar clenched firmly in his tiny tight mouth. His leathery cow-herder father was beside him. Both smiled at each other, conferred briefly in Thai, of which he understood one word "farang" (foreigner) -- as in "that witless old foreigner almost hit our life savings; too bad we can't collect and cash in"). Then they heaved the bike off his leg and stood there barely giggling until he wobbbled away in a bleeding, palsied cloud of dust.


Peter said...

Nice start. Looking forward to new adventures.

Good luck in thailand!


Peter said...

Btw, is it intentional that you locked so all commenters need to use a Google-account?

Patrick said...

This, my old friend, is a most auspicious beginning.
And you will, I trust, be treating us all to a description of your favorite Germanic neighbors sometime soon.
Nuts to anonymity.

Justin said...

I changed the setting to de-Googlize the comment deal. Thanks for checking in, amigo.

Justin said...

They're twins, Patrick. Even weirder. Probably products of the Mengele experiments...yes, will update soon. thanks for the reminder

John said...

Welcome back!

YaiKwai said...

I guess that's your first cultural lesson, Ting Tong Falang !!! 555 !

They were grinning with you... not against you.

Enjoy LOS.

Catharine said...

Timmmmy! Be careful.
And good luck in Thailand.
Tanya loves you!